Monday, December 30, 2013


As it is with most people, Motherhood and Age have brought me perspective in life. Anyone closest to me will tell the woman I am today is MUCH different than how I was 10 years ago. Once again, for most people, this is the norm, however, there is a new trend approaching. Women wanting to call themselves Grown Ass Women while still engaging in childish ass hoodrat behavior. Now don’t get me wrong, life is an evolution, and therefore we all have our occasional slip ups where we’re pissed the fuck off and acting an ass, but for the most part, we keep it together. Now I don’t know if it was all the crack going around in the 80’s or what, but in a lot of today’s families you can’t tell the elders from the youth if you go off of attitude and maturity alone. As a GROWN ASS WOMAN there are just certain things you don’t do because it leaves a bad taste of 'I'm a childish bitch” in the mouth… here’s my list.

Now, here me out, cause Im a mothafucka on ALL of my social media accounts, and I tend to share a lot of my personal stories and life experiences simply because of the fact that I like to relate to people. However, the over-sharing shit Im talking about is usually something like this…..

“Ladies, beware of Tyrone Smith, he’s a dirty ass nigga walking around spreading Syphillis. Im at the clinic this morning to abort his baby I was carrying because his trifling ass can’t keep a job, and outta nowhere I got hit wit paperwork and antibiotics, FUCK THAT HOE ASS NIGGA!!” 

I just don’t understand for the life of me why people like to put other people on blast at the expense of making themselves seem like a fool. This my friend, reeks of attention-whoring and trying to play the victim card. You’re 31 years old out here letting the world judge you off of some shit that needs to be kept in your household. You got fucked over by a foul ass dude, shit happens, you too old to be seeking the attention of random ass people on the internet. Go ahead and get your week of “Niggas aint shit” rants out of your system like the rest of us that have taken an L before and go find a damn hobby.
We're not even gonna speak of the ratchets who feel the need to tell the world about how their vagina every 5 seconds 

"Ass fat, titties sitting nice, wet pussy like Niagra falls and it smell like roses" 

Girl if you don't sit yo, "Pay me some attention and put yo dick in my mouth" ass down somewhere. Grown women aren't tacky, and over-indulging about how you like yo ass ate or getting fucked from the back is some wack tacky shit. We're all out of high school now, everybody fucks. That's not the point. The point is that no man wants to raise a child with the woman who gives the world detailed descriptions of her walls on twitter. It's ok to have a lil freaky moment and every now and again, but damn, grow up and be SOMEWHAT of a lady...

This here is a tricky one. No matter how old we get, there we always come a time when we may have to throw the high road out and fuck somebody up. It may be someone just walking up on you putting hands on you or your child, it may be a threat your family’s safety, whatever. These aren’t the situations I’m talking about. I’m talking about childish ass “she talkin shit and I don’t tolerate disrespect,” getting a babysitter for the kids and riding out to bitch house fights. There’s nothing cute about a grown ass woman fighting because they can’t handle somebody talking shit about them. At this point I will refer you to the example above, seeing as though most of the fights that go down nowadays begin on a goddamn social media site. “That bitch on Facebook talking about I’m a hoe, and my kids ugly as hell, Im bout to go beat her mothafuckin ass!!!” Boy let me tell YOU!!....I’m probably the undisputed CHAMP of FB beef in Detroit. I’ve had so many hating ass bitches talk about me, my family, my pockets, my house, it’s unreal. According to some bitches Im a fucking HIV having porn star…..and guess what? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. See the thing is, when you become secure in who you are, you don’t care about what somebody has to say about you. You simply can’t do things as an adult as you did at 16, there can be steep consequences. You may catch a case and go to jail. Now not only do you risk keeping custody of your children, you can also severely limit your ability to financially take care of them upon release due to being a convicted criminal. Plus, have you seen worldstar lately? These hoes don’t fight fair anymore, you might get hit with some shit or shot up….all because a bitch ran her mouth. I know so many situations that should have ended with a simple fight but went so far left its unreal.  But a CHILDISH HOODRAT bitch will risk her life and freedom to protect her name in the hood or her image on FB/TWITTER.  Here’s a quick lesson for you that I’ve learned over the years, fighting does not keep someone from talking shit about you. Unless you go all the mob style and catch a body, they will get they ass beat and get right back on that smartphone to make a stat STILL TALKIN SHIT. Don’t do it unless absolutely necessary. (I must admit tho I did almost Diamond from Player's Club a bitch a couple months ago but that's another story)….but I digress…..still that brings me to another point…..

I’ve caught a case before. (FUCK YOU EASTPOINTE POLICE). It was a minor ass possession of marijuana charge, but still, that shit was nnnoooo fun at all. I spent 12 hours in jail before being bailed out and when I tell you I dedicated my life to Christ the entire 12 fucking hours, MAN! Nothing renders you more helpless and un-grown than being in jail. You have no privacy, you look like a homeless person with bad hair and county clothes, you’re isolated from your family, and you have lost the ability to make decisions and have control of your life. Who wants that shit? I would say at least 75% of the population has caught a charge before even if it’s been over something as simple as a traffic ticket. Nobody wants to be locked up, I don’t care how gangsta you are or how many kilos of cocaine you sold. You definitely can’t be a PARENT making stupid ass decisions that land you in jail, who’s going to raise your children? Hopefully not the state. If you’re lucky enough to have family that gets them you’re never gonna hear the end of “I didn’t have these kids and it aint my responsibility to raise them because you made some dumb ass decisions.” Your son might grow to only know how to properly roll blunts and escape a high speed chase, while your daughter is getting slutted out from a lack of healthy male love and attention.  Shit even if you do avoid the actual incarceration, who wants to be on probation and get pimped by the STATE?  First of all, I love my money. And like the rest of us, I hate bills like a hood bitch hates welfare regulations. The absolute worst bill that anyone has ever had to pay is their fucking probation/parole officer (or child support lol) simply because of the fact that it was avoidable.  It’s ok to make mistakes and get caught up, but to repeat them only shows you’re irresponsible and incapable of making grown ass choices.

Forreal y’all….Im sick of seeing hoodrats in the club fresh to death because they decided to go on the hunt for new dick as opposed to paying their rent. Bitches screaming “I don’t who you talking to Im grown!” as they walk down the block Vaseline’d up ready to throw blows with some girl she found her man with. Threatening people, cursing and acting a fool because somebody took your favorite parking spot at work and you’re having a bad day. That shit isn’t grown, IT’S PATHETIC. Salute to my ladies who know how and when to choose their battles, because honestly, we’re all in an even bigger war of life. These hoes may seem like they’re winning from all the ignorant attention they get, but believe me, when the fight’s over, it’s the grown ass women who hold shit down that get the true perks in life.   

Monday, May 6, 2013

In Defense of all things Ratchet

     Reality tv has taken over the world, LITERALLY. Gone are the days with wholesome family sitcoms and scripted dramas, now replaced by average Americans, small production budgets, and technologically advanced mansions filled more booze than your local beer & wine shop. As with any change in American culture, the addictive wave of reality tv has not been embraced by everyone.  In fact, there are many who believe that not only is reality tv a waste of good cable programming, but is a threat to the family unit as a whole.   Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not an advocate of ignorance or violence in any way, but it truly baffles me as to how these “reality” shows are really THAT MUCH different than the lives that most of us live on an everyday basis. Let me Explain.
1.       “Ratchet behavior” is present in every society, culture, race, and nation on Earth.
Unfortunately, in the world we live in, drama and negativity sells. Whether it’s physical fighting, excessive cursing, “exposing” someone on facebook, etc…we are all drawn to the bullshit. For example, look at the rise of the urban site  If you have a school fight that you want people to see, put it Worldstar, if you have a low down baby daddy whose windows you decide to bust out, you put it on Worldstar. As a human race, we LOVE the drama. I don’t care how righteous you think you are, come across a 10 person brawl in the street, and I guarantee you you’re going to stop and watch the brawl!! (Especially if you’re from the hood lol)

……..which brings me to another point….
          The “high-moral” society in which we try and live and project onto the world is a lie.  From the world of entertainment, to sports, to politicians on Capitol Hill, Ratchet shit is everywhere. When it comes to the VISIBILITY of “Ratchet ish,” it really comes down to the socioeconomic class you belong to.  In the Hood, EVERYTHING IS DONE IN THE OPEN.  However, move up into a higher tax bracket and see how all of the things that hood folks are used to are done in private, or paid off to keep secret.  Our media would have you believe everything is about family values and apple pie, but we’re the same country who has a different politician cheating on his wife, stealing tax-payer funds, or some other sort of negative behavior in the news every week. (Remember Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, or the Senator looking for gay sex in the bathroom?) You see, in order to keep up the face of “sweet-ole America,” those in higher society have the funds and resources available to keep their vices and flaws in the dark….that is until somebody snitches to a media outlet.

3.            Human Nature is Human Nature.  I don’t care how classy or sweet you are, let someone walk up in your face and talk about your mother, child, or family member and see how shit turns Up REAL QUICK.  You see we have this thing called the “fight or flight” method.  When faced with potential harm to our emotional or physical well -being, we are either going to stand up and fight, or try remove ourselves from the situation. If we know we don’t like someone, we normally would not place ourselves in the same environment as them, knowing that tension could possibly create a problem.  People fail to realize that on these reality shows, they are BOUND BY CONTRACT to have to meet and film with rival cast members. If there are any issues between 2 members, they cannot speak to them or about them unless it’s on camera.  I’m sorry, but if I don’t like you, I don’t fuck with you.  If I have to constantly be around someone that I really can’t stand, it’s almost a GUARANTEE that somebody’s going to get slapped or cursed out eventually.

4.            Have you seen the show Married to Medicine? Beautiful, grown, educated and classy women brawling poolside in ball gowns with weave pulling and clutches upside the head!!!  A situation occurred between Mariah and Toya, two of the doctors wives, where Toya was found to have revealed information to a third party about Mariah’s daughter not knowing that her mother’s husband wasn’t her biological father. This of course enraged Mariah. (As with anybody that knows the Mama Bear/Papa Bear protective love that comes out of you when someone tries to intentionally bring emotional or physical harm to your child.) At her husband’s birthday party, Mariah enters the party already very defensive, and as soon as Toya tries to speak to Mariah, all hell breaks loose. Now may I remind you, AGAIN, these are EDUCATED, CLASSY, WIVES OF PHYSICIANS!  And they were throwing blows like they starred on Flavor of Love.  Point being is that we all can “grow up,” but the moment someone threatens anything close to your heart, emotions fly, tempers flare, and our basic human instincts take over.

     All in All, I have no problem telling the world of my love for Ratchet tv. From “The Bad Girls Club” to “Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta,” to “Jerry Springer”, we all are ultimately sucked into these shows because of one simple fact, we can relate to it. Every one of us knows an arrogant asshole like Stevie J, who is a cheating lying dog.   Almost all of us has had a friend or family member that we want to kill because they tried to sleep with our boyfriend.   We all know a few loud-mouthed young girls who fight each other to solve every argument, and so on and so forth. REALITY TV IS REAL LIFE.  The only difference is we’re watching someone else’s drama unfold instead of our own.